by Frank D'Antuono
Everyone: TI Babies, we'll make our dreams come true...
TI Babies we'll do the same for you...
Spyder: I'm an arms dealer
O'Reilly: I do the math
Erich: I blow up ships
Alistar: ALISTAR DANCE!!!
Xavier: I got a neat sword
Hex: I got religion
Treschi: I screw people over
Daimen: And cloning's my mission
Wall: I'm the head villain now
Marcus: Get your orders in by Thursday dammit!!!
Everyone: Yes Nanny.
Everyone: Were TI, TI, TI ,TI, Bay-Bay-Bay! Doo-wah-ooooo!
Nanny Marcus stormed into the nursery, his mood even fouler than usual. He was in such a bad mood that he didn't even care that baby O'Reilly had turned baby Daimen into a Quantum-Rock-N-Roll-Space-Pinball Machine. Nor did he care that baby Alistar was trying to fit baby Spyder into his mouth. Marcus slammed the door shut to announce his entry.
All the kids dropped what they were doing. "Hi Nanny!" they exclaimed.
He frowned. "Kids, I'm going out for awhile, I'll be gone for the entire day."
"But why, Nanny?"
"Because it's Valentine's Day, and Nanny Marcus has some unfinished business to attend to. So I'll see ya all tonight."
"Uh... Nanny?" baby Hex started. "What are all those black roses for?"
Marcus turned red with anger. "Nothing! Happy VD!" he boomed, slamming the door behind him.
"VALENTINE'S DAY?" Alistar asked the other kids.
"Yeah, Al, Valentine's Day," baby Treschi told him. "It's the one day of the year where everyone tries to score with chicks. Not counting Mardi Gras, of course."
"Yeah, Al, it's a week-long party where you give girls beads and they show you their boobs."
"Wow!" the others exclaimed.
"MARDI GRAS, MARDI GRAS!!!" Alistar bounced up and down.
"I'm with baby Al," baby Xavier said. "Fuck Valentine's Day... let's go see some tits!"
"But today is Valentine's Day, we should celebrate that," baby Spyder announced.
"Besides," O'Reilly added, "Mardi Gras is in Louisiana, and were in BUFU Illinois. How are we supposed to get there and back before Nanny gets home?"
They all turned to baby Erich. "I have the driving route half-downloaded now," he said. Man, I gotta see some tities! he thought.
"No good," Treschi said. "None of us can drive. And even if we got a limo or something, we wouldn't have enough time."
Daimen approached them. Having reverted back to normal non-pinball function, he jacked into the cable modem. After a minute or two, he turned to them. "We now have eight first class, round trip flights to New Orleans. A limousine will arrive to take us to our departure gate in 5.42 minutes."
The kids all look at each other. "PARTY!!!" they screamed as they quickly packed and exited the house.
A few minutes after the kids left the nursery, something strange happened. The nursery was bathed in a bright light as the ground seemed to shake. The light dissipated, and several heavily armed and armored figures we standing in the middle of the room.
"Area secure," one of them announced. They broke ranks to allow the figure they'd been guarding to walk freely. The figure immediately started filibustering.
"I am Samuel Wall! And you children shall become my obedient servants!" He looked down from his monologue to where the children should be, but saw nothing. "Dammit! Where the hell are they?"
"Sir, scans reveal no life forms present."
"Shit! Oh well, I'll make them my unwitting pawns some other time. Let's go to California and solve that (chuckle) unfortunate energy crisis they're having."
The kids were standing on the side of Bourbon Street, eyes wide open and drooling profusely. They each had so many beads around their necks that the weight made them slant to one side or another. But they didn't care. Today, they had all become men.
"This is even better than free porn on our illegal cable box!" Xavier cooed.
"Yeah," Erich agreed. "Is O'Reilly okay?"
O'Reilly was currently passed out on the sidewalk near them, eyes glassed over, drool oozing from his open mouth. He'd lasted about an hour on Bourbon Street before the sexual excitement became too much for him to bear.
Spyder turned to Erich. "He'll be fine, we just have to make sure he doesn't swallow his own tongue. Right, O'Reilly?"
"...boobies..." he said softly to himself.
A group of drunken college girls walked up to the group of young children. "Oh, aren't you just the cutest little things!" one said.
"Man, your parents must be totally cool to bring you out here at your age," another said.
Treschi put on his most innocent of faces and handed them some of his beads. "Here you go, pretty ladies."
"Hey, thanks, lover boy!" they said as they started to walk away.
"Wait!" Treschi shouted to them, bringing them back. "Aren't you forgetting something?"
The hot little coeds stared at him. "Yeah, right, kid. You're too young for skin."
Treschi launched into a powerful mind attack. They had the weakest defenses he'd ever encountered. You will show us you're tits! his mind thundered.
The girls immediately removed their tops and started gyrating for the youngsters.
"BOBBIES!!!" Alistar announced jubilantly.
Daimen judged the situation. Targets 1, 2, & 3 are topless and moving with irregularity consistent with intoxication. Weapons: Targets 1 & 3 are C cups, Target 2 is a D cup due to saline implants. Threat Levels: None. Sex Levels: All three targets are at sex level 9.5. Conclusion: Someone's gonna get lucky with those chicks tonight!
The little party was stopped when police officers came to break it up.
"You little whores are under arrest for contributing to the delinquency of minors! What the hell is wrong with you?! You should be ashamed of yourselves!!!"
"But officers!" they tried to explain. "We weren't gonna, but that kid right there..."
"Sir?" Erich asked. "Do you have to make them stop dancing?"
"You kids, where's your parents?"
A tear came to Hex's eye. "We don't got no parents."
"Officer," Treschi started, "please unhand our dates and go back to eating donuts per usual."
"You little bastard! When I find your legal guardian, they're gonna tan your hide but good!"
"Oh, we can't have that happening," Treschi said, launching into another metal attack. The police officers fought briefly, then stood there like zombies.
"Treschi, what'd you do to them?"
He smiled. "For the next two and a half hours, they'll be entertained by the motion picture The Black Stallion running through their heads!"
Suddenly, an alarm sounded as O'Reilly picked himself up. "Boy, that was great! But it's time we got back to the airport, we're running out of time. Daimen could you..." O'Reilly stopped his question when he saw Daimen hail a taxi cab.
Marcus slammed the front door shut and grumbled to himself bitterly. "Man, I hate Valentine's Day! If I see one more happy couple walking hand in fucking hand together..."
His train of thought was derailed as he heard music coming from the nursery. "That isn't Raffy or Kenny G, that sounds more like club music." Curious, he walked over to the nursery and opened the door. It was the last thing he ever expected to see.
College girls of all shapes and sizes—excluding fat chicks—were dancing with his charges. Some were topless, other were dancing around without a stitch of clothing on. He looked to the corner of the room and saw a girl who had to be about nineteen years old in bed with little Daimen, both of whom were smoking a joint in post-coital bliss. Beads, alcohol, music, and flashing lights were everywhere.
He barely managed to choke down the rage welling up within him, and unintentionally turned into Super Sayian Marcus. This transformation grabbed the partygoers attention.
"Hey, Nanny!" Treschi cried out, obviously drunk. "Join the party!"
Just as he was about to explode with rage and kill everyone within a twelve block radius, his anger subsided. "What the hell, kids, let's party!"
In a darkened room somewhere else far, far away, Factor Wall sat and watched the party going on in the nursery. "That right, Marcus... party down... have some fun. Just wait until the District Attorney sees this tape. Then we'll see who has the last laugh..."
Happy Mardi G... I mean... Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!!!
Next Week's Episode: The Epilogue