The Situation: It's Saturday night at ISU, and there's a great party at a frat house on Linden Street. What do they do?
Earth Fleet Commodore Erich Von Shrakenberg (Martin)
Von Shrakenberg would be the designated driver, because it would not be dignified for a military officer to drink on duty.
Tech Infantry Captain Andrea Treschi (Chris)
Treschi would be the one spiking the punch to get everyone else drunk, so that they will lose their inhibitions and spill their secrets to him.
"Kiddo" Hex (Andy)
Hex would take three jello shots and be blitzed out of his mind, then remember another party on Cherry Street and leave suddenly.
Tech Infantry Lt. Malachi Spyder (Josh)
Spyder would get mildly drunk and go home with a sorority chick, then get busted by the RA on duty for sneaking into her dorm room after hours.
Tech Infantry Major Alistar Dimiye (Frank)
Dimiye would be the one in the corner, downing shot after shot of Jaegermeister trying to make the voice in his head go away.
InSec Covert Operative Xavier Pollos (formerly LI Captain Mark Smith) (Matt)
Xavier would be the one using his magic sword to stir the punch.
Tech Infantry Trooper (retired) Miro Creed (Bax)
Miro would be working security for the live band, then sleeping with their hot red-headed lead singer.
Earth Fleet Commander Xinjao O'Reilly (Ed)
Xinjao goes to the party only to find that Herb, his supposed best friend from Math Club, is actually the Sigma Tau Epsilon president, who then has his frat buddies beat up Xavier for lipping off to Herb's girlfriend Elizabeth.
Free Citizen Justine Macoure (Lloyd)
Justine would get drunk out of her wits, pass out, and be ravaged by half the membership of Sigma Tau Epsilon and two guys from Alpha Pi Epsilon.