The Situation: In honor of Miro Creed's departure from our story, this week we ask: What would the characters see as the perfect ending for their part in the story?
Tech Infantry Trooper (retired) Miro Creed (Bax)
Miro gets sucked into Horadrim Heaven, where he can spend all day, every day, killing people, sleeping with hot redheaded chromium metal singers, and eating all the ice cream that he wants.
Earth Fleet Commodore Erich Von Shrakenberg (Martin)
After defeating the last rebel faction and saving the Federation from ruin, Erich dies a glorious death in battle, crashing his Star Control Ship into the Bug homeworld and wiping them off the face of the galaxy forever.
Tech Infantry Captain Andrea Treschi (Chris)
Treschi dies quietly in his sleep, the longest-reigning Chairman of the Grand Council in history. The people of the Federation hold a week-long celebration as the bloodiest and most oppressive chapter in human history comes to a close.
"Kiddo" Hex (Andy)
Hex pulls his katana sword out of the chest of Dr. Xaktos and then goes off to actually finish high school, where he is captain of the football team and dates all the cheerleaders at once.
Tech Infantry Lt. Malachi Spyder (Josh)
After serving his term in the TI, Spyder retires to run his strangely huge multi-planetary business interests.
Tech Infantry Major Alistar Dimiye (Frank)
Dimiye commits suicide after personally killing every other sentient being in the known universe, happy that the annoying voice in his head finally shut up and let him rest in peace.
InSec Covert Operative Xavier Pollos (formerly LI Captain Mark Smith) (Matt)
Xavier pulls his glowing magic sword out of the chest of Rashid King and plunges it into the chest of Andrea Treschi. Then he shouts "By the Power of Grayskull!" and goes home to bonk his wife, She-Ra.
Earth Fleet Commander Xinjao O'Reilly (Ed)
Xinjao dies of sexual exhaustion after finally getting his dream job as a building maintenance technician at the Playbeing Mansion on Eroticon VI.
Free Citizen Justine Macoure (Lloyd)
Justine dies in a silly, pointless bar fight, and then her spaceship takes off with an obscure Chicago radio sidekick at the controls. Oh, wait, we saw that already.