25 THINGS TO REMEMBER WHEN TRAPPED IN A TI STORYLINE

 

1.      Anyone can die at any moment.

2.      If it has stats, we can kill it.

3.      Even when you win, you can still lose.

4.      There are no coincidences.

5.      It never hurts to make your enemy more powerful, if you still have some idea how to bring him down.

6.      Victory is often disguised as defeat.

7.      No matter how cool the plot line, the moderator can still over-rule it.

8.      No matter how much you screw over your character, Marcus can still hurt him more.

9.      Inventing a new race to invade human-controlled space is NOT a good way to advance your character's political power.

10.  Handguns and spaceships can both blow up in your face.

11.  Even the biggest badass can still be stabbed in the back by his best friend.

12.  If there's one place where people are not allowed to fight, that's where the majority of the combat will take place.

13.  Pacifists can still start wars, and bloody military heroes can still negotiate peace treaties.

14.  No one is dead until his bloody and broken body is shown on live TV (and sometimes not even then).

15.  Magic can be defeated by technology (and vice versa).

16.  Do not taunt the moderator.

17.  Just because another player tells you they will follow the agreed plotline does not mean they HAVE to do so.

18.  Just because the moderator told you he would let you do something does not mean he will.

19.  Marcus will let you do almost anything, provided you do it with sufficient style and panache.

20.  When you're about to kill your enemy, do NOT pause to toss off a dramatic one-liner.

21.  Don't fuck with Physics!

22.  Never forget that the moderator is a borderline manic-depressive, so do not expect a happy, shimmering story about mentally well-balanced people and their pet mice with little footie pajamas and their adventures in the land of flowers and happy clouds.  At least, not every week.

23.  Blood is thicker than water, but if flows just as easily.

24.  Do not turn into a snake.  It never helps.

25.  Never write your orders while drunk, over-tired, or using any mind-altering substance stronger than coffee.