The Situation: A light bulb has burned out, and needs to be changed. How would the characters do this?
EarthFleet Commodore Erich Von Shrakenberg (Martin)
If a light bulb burns out on a starship, Erich would accelerate to 75% of light speed and enter the upper atmosphere of a Type III Gas Giant. The resulting frictional heating will cause the walls to heat to incandescence, producing enough light to see by for the approximately three microseconds that the ship would survive.
InSec Captain Andrea Treschi (Chris)
Andrea would kidnap a maintenance technician's children and execute one of them every thirty seconds until the tech had changed the bulb for him, then kill the tech and his whole family to keep them from talking, leaving one second cousin to spread fear of his ruthlessness throughout society.
"Kiddo" Hex (Andy)
Hex would use his newly-acquired Mage powers to levitate a bulb into position, where it would explode as a sudden nightmare grips his subconscious. Then he would curse the name of Dr. Xactos, the man with such a stupid name that he saddled his creation with the even dumber name "Hex".
Tech Infantry Lt. Malachi Spyder (Josh)
Would take advantage of the darkness to get it on with a mysterious former girlfriend who is in the Resistance, then realize too late that Earth Fleet internal affairs turned the lights off so they could capture him while he slept.
Tech Infantry Major Alistar Dimiye (Frank)
Dimiye looks at the dead bulb, says "We are both already dead," the dresses up in a Halloween costume and heads off to battle accompanied by a Native American War God.
InSec Covert Operative Xavier Pollos (formerly LI Captain Mark Smith) (Matt)
Xavier whips out his glowing magic sword and uses that for illumination.
Tech Infantry Trooper (retired) Miro Creed (Bax)
Miro uses his Horadrim Soul Web skills to extend his arm long enough to change the bulb, then uses the dead bulb to fashion a crude grenade using gasoline, soap flakes, and the primer from a .50-caliber round.
Earth Fleet Commander Xinjao O'Reilly (Ed)
O'Reilly invents an amazing new technology involving a stable plasma bubble to contain a fusion reaction. This produces enough light to give sunburn and increased skin cancer rates within thirty seconds.
Free Citizen Justine Macoure (Lloyd)
Justine tries to change a bulb with a stepladder, but gets her tail tangled in the mechanism, falls on her ass, and dies.